Before and After. A Short Photo Montage.

 It's all fun and games ...

Until someone wipes out!

She has no clue what's about to happen ... 

Mouth full ... grass optional.

 Who has 2 thumbs and loves Ice Cream?

Yep ... this guy. 

It'll all be worth it in the end. 

See. 

I hope he swallows that juice ... 

 Eh ... Wishful thinking. 

Yes, I would like cheese with that.

It's been brought to my attention (per my brutally honest husband) that I am indeed a whiner. I'd just like to take a brief moment to try and defend myself.

Recent whines -

1. Bug bites. While on an evening excursion to get ice cream, I got bit by a hungry mosquito ... twice. My daughter, Aubree is allergic to mosquitoes and quickly develops golf ball sized welts on her skin when attacked by these annoying little creatures. She has a reason to complain. I, however, do not. Did I rush to the medicine cabinet and cake my itty bitty bites with anti-itch cream? Yes. Why? It itchessssssss!!  Okay, okay ... I'll take my cheese please.

Tom - 1
Alison - 0

2. Cold Orange Soda. I absolutely love orange soda. I'm not sure why ... maybe because it takes me back to my childhood. Or maybe because I like to have an orange mustache that comes from something other than my fake tanning lotion. I don't know. But, my thoughtful husband brought one home for me. Where did he put it? In the fridge. Sounds normal, right? Not for this picky orange soda lover. I like some of my beverages room temperature. You see, I have sensitive teeth. It hurtssssssssss.  Fine. More cheese for me.

Tom - 2
Alison - 0

3. Matchbox Car Landmines. My son, Cameron has an enormous collection of Matchbox cars ... actually, he could really use an intervention. That's neither here nor there. The issue is this - he leaves them strategically placed (not really ... it just seems that way) in the middle of our high traffic areas. I was leisurely walking through the living room and planted my bare foot right on top of one of what had to be the pointiest matchbox cars ever created. I dropped to the floor like I was in the middle of a gang related drive-by. I was rolling around on the floor whimpering as if I actually had been shot in said fictitious drive-by. Currently, I have a quarter sized bruise on the bottom of my foot. Put your toys away Cameron. And hold the cheese. This one's mine.

Final Score =

Tom - 2
Alison - 1

Alright,  I don't really think that I'll continue to relive more tragic events. I'll close by saying that it's a good thing that I like cheese. I'll just bow my head and retreat. But, not before I go whine to my husband that we're plum out of crackers.

Potty Training 101 - Neatly Wrapped

I know that I had mentioned in the previous post that I would refrain from any sort of potty talk until later down the blog road. Well, I lied. I have been engulfed in toilet training techniques for months. I think that it has earned it's shot at 15 minutes of fame.

My son, Cameron (3) is currently enrolled in Potty Training 101 (via home school). I am almost certain that we've finally made some real progress ... enough progress to consider him trained-ish. I added the "ish" so that you would not be alarmed  if my next post involves midnight sheet changes or taking a wizz down the candy aisle at 7-11. It's been a long and tedious journey.

Bad Luck? Could this be why it all went wrong?

My early attempts at toilet training were unsuccessful. First, we introduced him to his very own potty seat. It was one of the cool ones that had a removable squishy seat - for his comfort, of course. I thought it was the Cadillac of miniature toilets ... Cameron didn't see it that way. He used the removable seat as a hat, a necklace, a lion's mane or any other form of headgear that he could think of. As for the potty itself ... that was his "washer machine". After he tinkled in his firetruck undies, he would take them off, shove them inside, close the lid, imitate a swishing sound and finish off the ritual with a swift roll of the hips. After that display, he would remove the wet undies and consider them "all clean". The Cadillac potty chair now resides in the back of the storage closet.

Our next attempt included a seat that fits right onto the toilet. To make a long story short ... it's in the back of the closet with the Cadillac.

By this point, operation pee in the potty was a complete failure. However, operation pee in a big yellow Tonka dump truck was a huge success. Go figure. He liked to call this dump truck his "potty truck".  I couldn't be too upset with him, he was peeing into something other than his underoos.

Later attempts involved lots of pee-pee dances, sticker prizes, M&M rewards and even the "you're in charge of your own pee/poo and cleanup" tactic. None of those things worked. We continued this mother - son power struggle for weeks. I was convinced that he was going to be wearing his Huggies indefinitely. Dramatic? Nah ... boys are harder to train than girls. I learned this first hand. My daughter was fully trained within a day ... I'd like to call that false advertising.

After a near mommy breakdown, a fellow stay at home mommy (and my lovely cousin, Kimberly) gave me an idea. Not just any idea ... the BEST idea of them all. Beautifully wrapped, yet untouchable, presents were neatly placed in a basket and strategically positioned within an arms reach of the toilet. You could only get one of these beauties if your #2's went into the you know where. It was kind of like Hanukkah ... only not really like that at all.

Downside - He's learned how to manipulate the system. He delivers the goods several times a day ... in small deposits. This means he gets between 3 and 5 gifts daily. Don't get me wrong, these gifts range from Matchbox cars to bubbles ... most of which came from the local $1 store ... but, my wallet is feeling the burn. And I thought that diapers are expensive ... pfffft!!

Upside - All of the number 1's and 2's have hit the water for the past few days. Bribery is a beautiful thing. I recommend this technique.

So there you have it .... Potty Training 101 - Neatly Wrapped. Or something like it.

Welcome to my world ...

My name is Alison. I'm a 30 year old (I only put my age because I thought that one day it may be relevant. Ever since I hit the big 3-0, age is a pretty touchy subject for me. I am exactly 9 months and 2 days older than my husband. Lucky him. Pffft. He reminds me of our slight age difference often.) wife and mother. My job title goes way beyond "Stay at Home Mom" ... I could choose a more fancy title like Peacekeeper, Ruler of the Little People or even Mayor of Crazy Town ... but for now, I'll leave it at "Stay at Home Mom". I have two wonderful children ... 9 year old Aubree, she's beautiful and brilliant. And 3 year old Cameron, he's my inquisitive little power house. They are great ... they eat all of the food, they can induce a minor headache, and occasionally pee and/or poo on things. Wait! Forget that I said that ... pee and poo are not classy enough for my first post. Stay tuned for future stories of that nature ... I have a 3 year old potty trainee. I've been married for almost 8 years to the love of my life, Tom. As corny as it may sound ... he's also my BFF (an acronym for "best friend forever" - for those of you without a 9 year old daughter). We live in a small town in northern Virginia. Both of us were born and raised here. Tom would pack up the family and move away if I gave him the 'okay'. Sadly, I'm not a huge fan of maps or foreign grocery stores. It'll never happen. I really do like it here. Besides, most of my family also resides here. Including my wonderful Mom ... you can call her Donna or SGT D for short. She's another one of my BFF's ... leaving her would not only break my heart ... it would also break my babysitter hook-up. What stay at home mom, in her right mind, would forfeit a babysitter for the great unknown? Not this one. 


I know that most folks have entertaining tales about their lives, however I'm pretty certain that my family goes above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to hilarity. Hence the newest member of my family ... my blog. You ask and you shall receive! Here it is ... the casual ramblings of a Supermom (sans cape). 

Was that good?? I'm new to this blogging thing, I'm not exactly sure what the rules are - if any.

Sadly, I have to go. My son just did a face plant into the floor while pretending he was a "horsey". He recovered from his sloppy dismount and slapped his sister ... she was giggling. Hello "time out chair"...

I look forward to the next installment of m'blog ... I hope you do too.