So, here are 25 things that you may (or may not) want to know about me. No strings attached. Read on.
1. I'm a murderer ... of plants. I wouldn't necessarily call it murder ... more like involuntary plant slaughter. I'm pretty sure that the Petunias and the Pansies are gossiping about me around the watering can.
1. I'm a murderer ... of plants. I wouldn't necessarily call it murder ... more like involuntary plant slaughter. I'm pretty sure that the Petunias and the Pansies are gossiping about me around the watering can.
2. I wish that I liked olives. However, I cannot. I try them from time to time just to make sure that nothing has changed.
3. I like to watch Maury Povich's paternity shows. You know which ones I'm talking about. Maury says "When it comes to 3 year old Bob Jr … Bob Sr, you are NOT the father!" The crowd gasps, Bob Sr does the pop and lock and then a back flip, the mother runs off stage screaming like a 12 year old at a Justin Bieber concert and we are entertained.
4. If I'm friends with you on Facebook (and only Facebook), I feel obligated to say 'hello' when I see you at Target. Instead, I just duck behind the sale rack.
5. Cameron wears his underwear backwards because he likes to let the tag hang out … and I allow it.
6. When I get home, I put my shoes on the steps. I walk up the steps 37 times a day and walk right past them all 37 times. Would it kill me to bend over and grab a pair on my way up? I doubt it. But, is it really worth the risk?
7. I fall down. A lot. My favorite apparatus is the stairs … and by 'favorite' I mean most often. Maybe bending over and picking up my shoes IS worth the risk.
8. Several years ago Captain Crunch came out with a cereal called "Oops! All Berries". This is one of the most delicious culinary creations of all times. I think that other companies should hop on this band wagon. Lucky Charms should make "Oops! All Marshmallows", Oreos should make "Oops! All Cream", KFC should make "Oops! All Skin" and postage stamp machines should make "Oops! All Out of Those Stupid Gold Dollars that No One Wants Because They Make Your Purse Heavy and They're Embarrassing to Use Because it Looks Like You Just Broke Into Your Kid's Piggy Bank".
9. I love Coach Handbags (and yes, I would marry them). I think that these beautifully crafted pieces of artwork add the perfect amount of class to my 7 year old Aeropostale sweat suit and peanut butter and jelly matted hair.
10. When I'm dining at a fancy restaurant, I know which fork to use.
11. While in a deep slumber, I once shouted "Someone get me a turkey baster ... I put oil in the windshield washer fluid!!" Even in my sleep, I'm a problem solver.
12. I feel a sense of pride when I see a Geico commercial because I AM saving boatloads on my car insurance.
13. When I leave Wal-Mart at night, I'm one of those weird paranoid women that puts her key in between her fingers in preparation for an attack. (Note - if you see me at Wal-Mart after dark ... don't sneak up on me. You're likely to get a key in your eye socket.) I also check my back seat for intruders. "Safety first" is kinda my motto.
14. After the birth of my son, I had to have a shot in my butt before I could be released from the hospital.
#1 I thought that a shot in the butt was a myth.
#2 It isn't.
#3 I felt a teeny bit violated.
15. I only like to drink coffee in the cold months. Let me re-phrase that (since I really don't like coffee very much) ... I only like to drink cream and sugar with a hint of coffee in the cold months.
16. I consider it a great injustice that my husband, my daughter and my son have long beautiful eyelashes and I do not. Thank you gene pool ... you could have at least tried to float down the long eyelash aisle. And while we're on the subject, the suntan aisle, the Pantene hair aisle and the smart aisle wouldn't have killed you either.
17. Per the norm, I start things and I don't finish them ....
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23. You get my drift .....
5. Cameron wears his underwear backwards because he likes to let the tag hang out … and I allow it.
6. When I get home, I put my shoes on the steps. I walk up the steps 37 times a day and walk right past them all 37 times. Would it kill me to bend over and grab a pair on my way up? I doubt it. But, is it really worth the risk?
7. I fall down. A lot. My favorite apparatus is the stairs … and by 'favorite' I mean most often. Maybe bending over and picking up my shoes IS worth the risk.
8. Several years ago Captain Crunch came out with a cereal called "Oops! All Berries". This is one of the most delicious culinary creations of all times. I think that other companies should hop on this band wagon. Lucky Charms should make "Oops! All Marshmallows", Oreos should make "Oops! All Cream", KFC should make "Oops! All Skin" and postage stamp machines should make "Oops! All Out of Those Stupid Gold Dollars that No One Wants Because They Make Your Purse Heavy and They're Embarrassing to Use Because it Looks Like You Just Broke Into Your Kid's Piggy Bank".
9. I love Coach Handbags (and yes, I would marry them). I think that these beautifully crafted pieces of artwork add the perfect amount of class to my 7 year old Aeropostale sweat suit and peanut butter and jelly matted hair.
10. When I'm dining at a fancy restaurant, I know which fork to use.
11. While in a deep slumber, I once shouted "Someone get me a turkey baster ... I put oil in the windshield washer fluid!!" Even in my sleep, I'm a problem solver.
12. I feel a sense of pride when I see a Geico commercial because I AM saving boatloads on my car insurance.
13. When I leave Wal-Mart at night, I'm one of those weird paranoid women that puts her key in between her fingers in preparation for an attack. (Note - if you see me at Wal-Mart after dark ... don't sneak up on me. You're likely to get a key in your eye socket.) I also check my back seat for intruders. "Safety first" is kinda my motto.
14. After the birth of my son, I had to have a shot in my butt before I could be released from the hospital.
#1 I thought that a shot in the butt was a myth.
#2 It isn't.
#3 I felt a teeny bit violated.
15. I only like to drink coffee in the cold months. Let me re-phrase that (since I really don't like coffee very much) ... I only like to drink cream and sugar with a hint of coffee in the cold months.
16. I consider it a great injustice that my husband, my daughter and my son have long beautiful eyelashes and I do not. Thank you gene pool ... you could have at least tried to float down the long eyelash aisle. And while we're on the subject, the suntan aisle, the Pantene hair aisle and the smart aisle wouldn't have killed you either.
17. Per the norm, I start things and I don't finish them ....
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23. You get my drift .....
